Just Droppin' In
by Owlie
Summary: A bunch of kids (read Owlie-chan and friends) drop in on Raditz and Goku's fight. Needless to say, things start to get crazy. (Co-starring: ZestyGnome, Crystal Arrow, Solarcite and a bunch of other people)
1. What the!

Just Droppin' In!  
  
DISCLAIMER: I DON"T own ANYTHING! FunImation and such own DBZ, and my friends own themselves. So, basically, the only thing I own in this fic is myself, Owlie.  
  
Raditz and Goku faced each other over the dusty ground, ready to fight to the death. Each knew that the fate of this relatively insignificant planet was in the outcome of this fight. Raditz spat on the ground and looked at Goku square in the eye. "So, little brother, it has come down to this. Now, are you prepared to get squashed into a lifeless pulp?"  
  
"Who said anything about pulp?"  
  
"Ha!"  
  
"HEY?! What is that up there?!"  
  
Both men looked up at what appeared to be a giant black hole in the sky, its flaming edges outshining the sun. A number of objects fell out of it, and , as suddenly as it had appeared, it sealed itself up again.  
  
"What on earth was that?"  
  
"Kakorrot, why are you asking me?"  
  
"I dunno. Anyway, what did tha-whoa!"  
  
The reason for Goku's surprise was the fact that the "objects" that the hole spat out were actually kids, all around the age of fourteen. Some of them had fallen behind Goku, and the rest were behind Raditz  
  
"I don't believe this.a bunch of kids."  
  
"What?" Raditz then looked behind him. "Oh, hell. A bunch of weakling Earth brats. Just what we need."  
  
"*beeep*"  
  
Goku looked behind him, to see a girl with long, brown hair lying on her stomach, her face pressed to the ground, cursing her head off. Beside her, another girl, with shorter brown hair of a similar color, sat, trying (apparently) to shut her up.  
  
"Crystal Suranu, will you stop cursing?"  
  
"NO! No one shall stop me!!!"  
  
"Oh, for heaven's sake!"  
  
One of her friends, with hair of a lighter brown, suddenly looked at her wrist and screamed out, "Why do I look like I'm badly drawn?" The, she took another look at her wrist. "Why am I stuck in anime? This is not fair!"  
  
The girl who had been doing the cursing suddenly looked up and yelled, "Owlie-chan, what the heck are you doing!"  
  
For one of the girls, whom Goku took to be Owlie-chan, was walking around Raditz, apparently sizing him up. As she walked, Raditz cast a wary eye on her, as one might look at a strange dog. Finally, she seemed to reach a conclusion, her brown eyes sparkling with maliciousness.  
  
"My God, you're ugly!"  
  
Raditz was slightly taken aback by this, as no one, especially not a weakling like this, had ever dared call him ugly.  
  
"So I'm not exactly gorgeous!"  
  
"I know. If I thought you were gorgeous, I wouldn't have called you ugly, now, would I?"  
  
Goku felt he better step in on this kid's behalf, or she was going to get herself killed. But when?  
  
"Stupid brat, I will kill you! Any last requests?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Better make it."  
  
"Go get a haircut, slimeball!"  
  
Raditz leapt forward, a small ball of energy in his right hand, about to kill her.  
  
"Raditz, stop. She's just a kid."  
  
"She has offended me!"  
  
By this time, all the rest of Crystal Suranu and Owlie-chan's travelling companions were fully recovered from their rather nasty connection with the ground. They were looking around, highly confused. "ZestyGnome, where are we?" asked the one who had been complaining about being stuck in anime.  
  
"I do believe we are in the wonderful world of Dragonball Z. Drink up, everyone!"  
  
All heads turned in the direction of ZestyGnome. "What do you mean, Dragonball Z?" Goku asked, not knowing that basically his entire life was on tape for the viewing pleasure of non-animated audiences.  
  
"Goku, your life is the center of a thirty minute, action-packed anime drama that has millions of fans and lots of shoddy fan merchandise," ZestyGnome answered, quite calmly.  
  
"It is? Whoa!"  
  
Beckie, the girl who had protested being in anime in any form at all, yelled, "I just want to get back to orchestra!"  
  
"Well, since the portal's closed," Crystal Suranu began. "We obviously can't get back through it."  
  
"Congratulations," Raditz interrupted, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I never thought Earthlings could be this intelligent."  
  
Crystal Suranu ignored him. "So, basically, we need a way to get back that doesn't involve opening the portal. Solarcite, Alice, any suggestions?"  
  
A Chinese girl and another girl with straight, black hair that brushed her shoulders both answered at the same time. "Nope."  
  
Then, the girl with shoulder length hair suddenly cried out "Wait, you could use the Dragonballs!"  
  
Just then, they heard what sounded like breaking glass. "Tashachu, what did you break this time?" asked Crystal Suranu.  
  
Tashachu, the girl that had been trying to get Crystal Suranu to stop cursing, sheepishly turned to face them. In each hand, she held the remains of what had been an orange glass ball, about the size of an apple.  
  
"Okay, what was it?"  
  
"Um, it was this sort of orange glassy-looking ball, with these four orange stars in the middle."  
  
Everyone's jaws dropped. Goku's eyes bulged. "You broke a Dragonball?! Tashachu, you idiot!"  
  
"Anyone have super glue?" ZestyGnome asked weakly.  
  
"Fools!" yelled Piccolo. "You can't glue a Dragonball back together!"  
  
"What I don't understand," Goku said, somewhat bemusedly. "Is how she broke it in the first place. I mean, it's a real Dragonball. You aren't supposed to be able to break one."  
  
"Well, you know, she's Tashachu. She manages to break the supposedly indestructible objects," This was the first time that Owlie-chan had opened her mouth after being saved from a certain death by Goku, which was something like five minutes ago.  
  
"Well, how was I to know what it was? I only started watching DBZ a few days ago, and most of those were reruns of the Majiin Buu saga." Crystal Suranu rolled her eyes.  
  
"Oh, hell!" Raditz exclaimed. "Now I'm stuck on this stupid planet with a bunch of weird kids, because one of them broke the Dragonball and Kakorrot's son blew up my spaceship!"  
  
"Leave Gohan out of this. What we should do is try and help these poor kids out of here. Then we can continue our little fight."  
  
"Fine by me, Kakorrot. As long as we get them out of here."  
  
"Um, okay, where do we start?"  
  
Radditz looked at Goku like he was crazy. "WHAT!? You never gave this any thought? You're asking me how to get rid of a bunch of kids?!"  
  
Goku thought for a moment. "Um, I guess. Come to think of it, why am I asking you how to 'get rid of a bunch of kids'? You'd probably blow them up or something."  
  
"Maybe I should!" Radditz moved to blast the little group of teenagers into tiny bits, but Goku leapt on him from behind and grabbed his tail.  
  
"You'll do no such thing! Now, Radditz, I am going to get these kids back to wherever it is they came from, and you are going to help me. Understood?"  
  
"Why should I take orders from you, eh?"  
  
"Because if you don't, you almost definitely will be stuck on this planet with them, and I'm sure you wouldn't want that."  
  
"Ugh.Fine, you win, Kakkarot, but this is the last time!"  
  
Goku turned to the little group, the members of which were huddled together, in the midst of conversation. "Kids, we're going to help you get back to your-um, universe."  
  
Owlie-chan turned away from her group of friends to answer. "Joy. Now, how long is this going to take?"  
  
ZestyGnome answered for him. "An indefinite amount of time, I suppose."  
  
"Er, something like that, yeah," Goku added tentatively.  
  
Owlie-chan cracked her knuckles. "So," she asked. "Where do we start?"  
  
Crystal Suranu had the answer. "I think we should find out what caused us to end up in the DBZ world, and then do it again."  
  
"With any luck," continued Owlie-chan, "we should be able to reopen the portal and get back to our time and place."  
  
"It's something to do with the space-time continuum!" came a voice from out of nowhere. It was Tashachu, not surprisingly. Everyone, including Piccolo, who had been ignoring the proceedings up until now, turned to look at her.  
  
"What?" she asked, sheepishly. "It's always like this in the movies. Every time people end up in another dimension, it's always someone screwing around with the space-time continuum." Everyone cast a sideways look in her direction.  
  
"Errr.whatever..." Goku sighed, covering Gohan's ears, lest he start repeating what Tashachu had been saying in front of Chi-chi. "So, how do we figure out who's been playing with the space-time continu- whatchamacallit."  
  
"Space-time continuum, daddy," Gohan corrected, his voice partially muffled by his father's leg.  
  
"Gohan, I'm going to take you home, then try to get these kids back to their home, okay?"  
  
"But daddy, I wanna stay with you!"  
  
"No, Gohan. It might be dangerous, and I don't want you to get hurt. Now, promise me you'll be a good boy and look after mom for me, and then we'll go home."  
  
"But-but, daddy." Gohan choked, his eyes filling with tears, and he buried his face further into Goku's leg.  
  
Goku suddenly became stern. He pushed his son away from him, as much as he hated to do so. "Do as I say, Gohan! Do you understand? This is for your own good!" Gohan stared at the ground.  
  
"Yes, daddy," He tried to keep the tears out of his eyes, but it didn't work.  
  
Goku knelt and gently wiped away some of his son's tears with his hand, leaving a tiny streak of sandy dirt. "There, there, Gohan. Let's go." Turning away from Gohan, he yelled "Flying Nimbus!" to the heavens. The little golden-colored cloud streaked through the sky, coming to a rest in front of him. Lifting Gohan onto his shoulder, he leapt on, calling "Piccolo, keep an eye on Raditz! Make sure he doesn't go anywhere near those kids!" as he flew towards his home.  
  
"Great," Piccolo muttered. "I get stuck babysitting." He noticed something out of the corner of his eyes, and turned just in time to see Raditz running at full speed towards the little group of teenage girls, a massive ball of energy in hand. Thinking quickly, he rushed forwards, tripped Raditz, and did the only thing he could think of to stop him getting up again-sat on him.  
  
"What the hell are you doing, you big green freak?" Raditz gasped. Piccolo elbowed him.  
  
"How do you think I feel? I'm the one who's supposed to be keeping an eye on you." He looked up into the cloudless blue sky, and muttered, "Get the heck back here, Goku, or I'm going to have to hurt you!"  
  
  
  
Next time on Dragonball JDI: Goku and Gohan are back at home, but Goku gets delayed by a late lunch break! Meanwhile, back on the "battlefield," how much longer can Piccolo put up with sitting on Raditz? And how much longer will Raditz let him? And, what will become of the inter-dimensional travelers? Tune in next time for the answers on Dragonball JDI! *stupid theme music starts playing* 


	2. Just One Small Problem

Just Droppin' In  
  
Chapter 2: Just a Small Problem.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ. I don't own any of my friends. I'm not even sure if I own myself.  
  
Last time on Dragonball JDI: A bunch of kids, including the author, ended in the midst of Raditz and Goku's fight. After saving one of them (the author) from being killed by Raditz, Goku promised to help them return to their own world. Goku took Gohan back home, leaving Piccolo to keep an eye on things. Raditz, however, attacked the little group of teenagers, who were saved when Piccolo sat on Raditz! How much longer can Piccolo (or Raditz) put up with this?  
  
The Nimbus cloud screeched to a halt outside the front door, and Goku, still holding Gohan, leapt off, yelling "Chi-chi, I'm home!" However, he got a rather nasty surprise.  
  
Chi-chi came marching out the door, holding a ladle in one hand, hands on her hips. "Goku, just where were you all this time? I've been waiting here for two hours! Gohan has to go to school tomorrow! And don't whine at me if the rice is overdone!"  
  
Goku took all of this with the usual passiveness. He had learned a long time ago that it was best not to argue. Sighing, he lifted Gohan from his shoulders, and told Chi-chi his plans for the afternoon: "I have to leave now, Chi-chi, and I'm not sure when I'll be back." He turned to Gohan and added "Go on inside and have some lunch, Gohan."  
  
"Goku! What is so important that you just HAVE to avoid me?"  
  
"It'll take a long time to explain, but I'll try. See, this bunch of teenage girls just.I don't know, landed here from another dimension, and I told them I'd try to get them back home."  
  
And then Chi-chi did a very amazing thing, at least, from Goku's perspective, to be doing in this situation: She laughed. "Yes, I'm sure you did." Then she suddenly stopped. "Very funny, Goku. Now, you get in there and eat lunch, and you are staying in this house."  
  
Goku sighed. This was not going the way he wanted it to. "Chi-chi, I'm serious. Ask Gohan if you don't believe me."  
  
And, much to Goku's chagrin, his wife rounded on Gohan. "Is this true, Gohan?" Gohan nodded. "See? I told you!"  
  
"And just what did you give him to make him say this?"  
  
Gohan answered for his father. "Nothing, mom. He didn't give me anything. I guess someone was screwing around with the space-time continuum, and-"  
  
He never got further than the "and." He quailed under the furious look his mother was giving him. "And just where did you learn this language, young man?" she asked.  
  
Gohan stared at the floor. "Those girls," he answered simply.  
  
Apparently, Chi-chi was satisfied with this answer. "I'll believe that, since I know your father wouldn't use that sort of language. But, just for using it, after you've finished your lunch, you'll go and stay in your room until dinnertime. And I want you to study! Understand?" Gohan nodded. Then, she rounded on Goku. "And as for you, you're not going anywhere! Regardless of what happens to these kids of whom you speak, you're staying here!"  
  
"B-but Chi-chi-"  
  
"Be quiet, Goku. Now, get in there and eat your lunch, then go do something useful."  
  
Meekly, Goku followed his wife into the house, where he sat at the table, and tried to think of something to do about his current predicament. However, his train of thought was derailed when Chi-chi set a massive bowl of slightly overcooked rice in front of him. The fact that the rice was overcooked did not seem to worry him. He merely shoveled it into his mouth, pausing only to gulp water from the glass nearby. Across the table, Gohan was doing a very similar thing. Chi-chi observed the proceedings with satisfaction, knowing that while there was food on the table, nothing would happen, and left the room.  
  
Goku saw his chance. Shoveling the last of his rice into his mouth, he leapt up from the table as quietly as he could, and padded to the door. He shot one last look at Gohan, pressing his finger to his lips in a signal to be quiet, left almost silently. However, he didn't shut the door almost silently.  
  
Chi-chi heard the door slam, and she was off like a bullet from a gun. She raced down the stairs, tripping over the hem of her skirt as she ran. Tearing open the door, she stepped into the blazing sunlight. By the time she got there, however, her husband was well on his way. She screamed up to him. "Goku! Get back here now!"  
  
Goku simply waved, and called back, "Sorry, but I can't! I'm a man of my word, Chi-chi, you should know that by now! I promised to get them home, and I won't come back here until I get them back!" Chi-chi sighed, and then called "Be careful, Goku!"  
  
Goku, however, didn't hear her. The little golden cloud spirited him towards Piccolo, Raditz and those weird kids. Cold winds played with his hair, lifting it upwards as they tried to pull it from his scalp. However cold the winds were, he didn't notice, the cold countered by the blazing heat from the sun. Goku found himself yawning, in spite of himself. He slapped himself in the face a few times. "What am I doing?" he asked himself aloud. "For all I know, those kids are in mortal danger, and Piccolo is about to go crazy, and here I am dozing off!"  
  
  
  
For all he knows.  
  
"Get off me, you big green freak!" Raditz grunted, his voice muffled because his face was buried in the ground. "You're messing up my hair!" Piccolo elbowed him in the ribs to get him to shut up.  
  
"Do you think I'm enjoying this?" he asked. He was sitting on Raditz's back, picking dirt and sand from underneath his nails. "If I had my choice, I'd be beating the crap out of both you and your brother, but instead I end up babysitting a bunch of silly little girls and-" He was suddenly cut off by a large clump of grass and soil that hit him in the face. "What the-?"  
  
"Well thrown, Tashachu!" one of his charges exclaimed.  
  
"We're not a 'bunch of silly little girls,' Piccolo!" Tashachu shouted. "We happen to be highly intelligent."  
  
"You don't seem wonderfully intelligent," the Namek snapped, wiping dirt from his face with his arm. "and how in the name of Kami do you know my name?"  
  
"Ever seen Dragonball Z?" Tashachu retorted.  
  
"Tashachu," Crystal Arrow (formerly Crystal Suranu) muttered through clenched teeth, elbowing her friend in the ribs. "Ix-nay on-ay e-thay 'eBZ- day."  
  
"Wha? I don't know Pig Latin."  
  
Crystal Arrow sighed. "He doesn't know about Dragonball Z, remember?"  
  
"Oh." Then, to Piccolo: "I don't know, just don't ask!"  
  
Piccolo heaved a heavy sigh of his own. Today, he thought, was not worth getting out of bed for. "They're all crazy," he said to the world in general, and looked up at the sky, inwardly wishing that Goku would get over here sometime like now.  
  
Back with the "bunch of silly little girls," things were going average-ly. Owlie-chan had somehow produced a deck of playing cards from her pocket, and was playing solitaire. ZestyGnome wasn't doing much of anything in particular, Solarcite was watching Owlie-chan drive herself crazy, and Tashachu and Crystal Arrow were arguing about DBZ in general. Owlie-chan stopped playing to listen to the argument:  
  
"We're here, so why are you trying to explain all this stuff to me?"  
  
"Uh, Tashachu, we sort of changed everything when we ended up here. If we weren't here, Raditz would be beating the crap out of Goku and Piccolo. As it is, Piccolo is sitting on Raditz, and Goku is God knows where."  
  
Owlie-chan interrupted. "She's got a point there. What the heck are the Frieza saga or the Buu saga going to turn into? We've kinda changed the future here."  
  
  
  
Back on the Cloud.  
  
"Come on, Nimbus!" Goku shouted at the cloud, his voice rising with impatience. "What are you doing? I need to get there, otherwise Piccolo's going to have a nervous breakdown!" Strange images crossed his mind of the girls putting ribbons on Piccolo's antennae. He shook his head in an attempt to clear them. "Either that or they're dead," he muttered, rolling his eyes to the empty sky above. Through the white fleece of the clouds below him, he caught sight of Piccolo, or, rather, the top of Piccolo's head. "There they are!" he exclaimed. "Down there, Nimbus!"  
  
The little cloud dove through the air, and coasted to a stop just behind Piccolo's head. "Hey, Piccolo!" its rider called, nearly giving his addressee a heart attack.  
  
"What the-oh, Goku."  
  
"Aren't you glad I'm back?"  
  
"Humph. Now that you're here, can I get off him?" Piccolo pointed to what Goku had thought was a rock. It was Raditz.  
  
"Um, why are you sitting on him in the first place?" Something struck him. "Piccolo! Honestly! That is nasty!" Piccolo gave him a very nasty, but also very shocked look.  
  
"It's not what you think it is, trust me."  
  
Goku jumped off the Nimbus, which flew away. He rolled his eyes at Piccolo. "Whatever," he shrugged. "Now what?"  
  
Piccolo performed an interesting feat, jumping off Raditz's back and putting his foot back on, pressing his weight onto the Saiyan lying in the dust to stop him getting up. "First," he answered. "We deal with this piece of crap."  
  
Raditz made a futile attempt to get up. "Watch what you call me, green boy!" Piccolo merely put his full weight on Raditz, and kicked him with the other foot. "Yo mama!" the unfortunate Saiyan managed to spit, turning his head towards Piccolo. Piccolo looked at him and blinked.  
  
"You dissin' my mama? Well, I got a piece of news for you, boy: I ain't got no mama!"  
  
The inter-dimensional travelers blinked at the proceedings. "Well, this is new," remarked Owlie-chan. The others could only nod in assent, transfixed as they were by the oddness of the scene unfolding before them. It was silent for a while, and the only thing that could be heard was Raditz and Piccolo's cursing. ZestyGnome broke the silence.  
  
"Well, this is, uh, interesting."  
  
Alice looked at her like she was insane. "You think people running around talking like that and swearing is interesting?"  
  
"Actually, yeah."  
  
Solarcite interrupted. "Alice, she's being sarcastic."  
  
Alice rolled her eyes. "Sorry, but I'm seriously getting scared here. How are we going home?"  
  
"That's the point," Crystal Arrow explained. "We can't get home, apparently because of someone screwing around with the space-time continuum, and knowing Goku, it doesn't look like the space-time continuum's going to get unscrewed. We're stuck here. Unless," she added sarcastically. "Gohan comes up with some miracle equation."  
  
"You never know," Tashachu piped optimistically.  
  
"Tashachu, this is Goku's brain-dead son we're talking about here. Do you really think some really stupid four-year-old brat is going to get us anywhere, let alone back to our own dimension?"  
  
Tashachu apparently had no answer for this, as she kept silent. "Just as I thought," Crystal Arrow sighed, rolling her eyes. Tashachu blinked indignantly.  
  
Meanwhile, Goku was trying to separate Raditz and Piccolo, who were cursing each other's ancestry and trying to rip each other's faces off. "Okay, you two, break it up, we've got a job to do."  
  
Both Raditz and Piccolo spun around and looked at Goku like he was crazy. "HE TRIED TO KILL ME!" they shouted, pointing accusing fingers at each other. Then they returned to their previous activity, which consisted of trying to kill each other.  
  
Goku rolled his eyes. He had no time for this. "Look, we said we'd help them, we're going to help them."  
  
"SCREW THEM!" Raditz yelled. Unfortunately for him, Tashachu heard it. Ten seconds later, a clump of dirt held together by grass roots hit him full in the face, followed by another three, which hit him in the chest and stomach. "What the heck was that?" he asked the world in general, letting go of Piccolo's antennae to brush himself off. Goku surveyed his brother amusedly.  
  
"Um, this is just a suggestion, but I wouldn't say anything like that again if I were you."  
  
"Shut up, Kakkorot," Raditz snapped. "What do you know? I'm betting all you do is stay at home with your precious little family and do push- ups." Goku bristled.  
  
"Grrr.Raditz, I don't know what's wrong with you, but stop! We need to work together to get them out of here, and I'm sure you'd like to get out of here!" It was then that he felt someone poke him in the back. He whirled around to find Owlie-chan standing behind him.  
  
"Er, maybe he's hungry," she suggested meekly.  
  
Twenty Minutes Later.  
  
"Chi-chi! Open the door!" Goku found himself locked out of his own house. He was banging on the door for all he was worth-without breaking it- and fervently hoping that Piccolo could restrain Raditz, at least until his wife opened the door.  
  
"Is that you, Goku?" Chi-chi's voice came from within. "Did you return those supposed kids to their own dimension?"  
  
"No," Goku called in response. "They're out here with me." The door opened, and Chi-chi's face poked out through the crack. "Chi-chi, I need to ask you a question."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do we have any rice left?" "Just a minute." Chi-chi disappeared, her footsteps echoing down the hallway to the kitchen. She returned quickly. "Just enough for two bowls. Why?"  
  
"Because I've got an uninvited relative of mine out here. If he eats as much as I do, we'll need some more," he mumbled.  
  
Chi-chi groaned. "And do those teenagers want anything to eat?" Goku looked over his shoulder, asking them if they were hungry.  
  
"No, not really. We were in second bell when we ended up here, so we only ate breakfast a little while ago," Beckie answered for everyone  
  
"Um, okay. Piccolo, what about you?"  
  
"I'm-stop squirming!-fine."  
  
Goku turned back to Ch-chi. "Everyone else is fine."  
  
Chi-chi opened the door and ushered everyone inside. However, she stopped Raditz, digging the handle of a broom into his chest. "Who's this?" she asked irritably. Goku looked at who she was pointing at.  
  
"Oh, that's Raditz, the uninvited relative."  
  
"And just what is his relation to you?"  
  
"He's my brother."  
  
Chi-chi slowly took the broom out of Raditz's chest, much to his relief. "Could you move?" came a harsh voice from behind Raditz. Chi-chi looked over her brother-in-law's shoulder to see Piccolo holding him by the hair, and screamed. "What?" Piccolo asked. "Am I that ugly?" He blinked twice and looked down at Raditz. "Don't you say a word," he said in a deadly whisper, grabbing Raditz's arm and twisting it.  
  
"Ow! Ow! I didn't do anything! Ow! You're hurting me!" The would- be conqueror was bawling like a toddler.  
  
"Would you shut up?" Piccolo barked. Raditz's whining went through a dramatic decrescendo until it ceased all together. "That's better," he muttered, and marched Raditz into the kitchen, where he threw him into a chair.  
  
Goku heard his wife scream. He came rushing out of the kitchen and down the hall to see what was going on, and ran over Beckie on the way there. However, Goku never got there.  
  
"What's the idea, trying to kill me?" she shouted at poor Goku. Goku, rather than reacting, cowered as Beckie yelled at him. A single sweatdrop rolled down his cheek and dropped off his chin.  
  
"Um, no, sorry!" The world's strongest fighter rubbed the back of his neck in awkward embarrassment.  
  
"That still doesn't excuse it!"  
  
"You don't argue with Beckie," ZestyGnome remarked, surveying the scene. And what an interesting scene it was, with what was probably the most powerful person on Earth getting verbally assaulted by a fourteen-year- old girl.  
  
"No, you don't," seconded Owlie-chan, tapping her foot on the floor a few times for effect. Crystal Arrow merely shook her head in despair, her thumb and index finger at her temples. Tashachu looked upon the scene with raised eyebrows. Alice was looking for a way out. ZestyGnome and Owlie continued to stand where they were.  
  
"I don't know who you are, I'm still trying to figure that out." Goku tried in vain to defend himself against Beckie's onslaught.  
  
"I don't care. No one, not even an Anime freak like you, runs me over and lives to tell the tale."  
  
Crystal Arrow finally had enough. She charged between Goku and Beckie, and shouted, "If both of you don't stop right now, I'll just have to hit the two of you!"  
  
Chi-chi, at the very mention of threatened violence, became violent herself. "No one, young lady, uses or threatens to use violence in my house! Do I have to find you counseling as well?" Crystal Arrow rolled her eyes, and turned to Tashachu and Owlie-chan.  
  
"You know what? She sounds just like a teacher or something." Tashachu nodded in agreement. Owlie-chan said nothing and just stared at the wall.  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
Next Time on DBJDI: It's lunchtime for Raditz, but, unfortunately, things don't go entirely according to plan. With Raditz having cursing fits and tiny problems with his attire, it doesn't look like our inter-dimensional travelers will get home any time soon! 


	3. Two Tirades, Spandex Shorts, and a Bar o...

Just Droppin' In: Ch. 3: Two Tirades, Spandex Shorts and a Bar of Soap  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned Dragonball Z, Goku and Vegeta would have been elevated to the status of gods by now. If I owned my friends, I'd be dead by now. The whole "Life Buoy" thing came from A Christmas Story.  
  
Other notes: Sorry it's such a short chapter, peeps. I know, after Chapter one and two were six and eight pages, respectively, four must seem sort of a letdown. But I only have a little bit of time to write.  
  
Last time on Dragonball JDI: Much to Piccolo's relief, Goku finally returned after leaving his son at home with Chi-chi. And things went downhill from there. Raditz and Piccolo got into a fight with some very interesting language bouncing around, and taking Owlie-chan's suggestion, Goku brought everyone back home with him. This turned out to be a really big mistake, because Chi-chi was extremely frightened by the presence of Piccolo, and Goku ended up running over Beckie, which turned out to be an even bigger mistake. What will happen now?  
  
______________________________________________________________________  
  
At long last, the fight between Goku and Beckie had been broken up. The two former combatants were pretending to ignore each other, while casting nasty glances at the other from opposite sides of the room. Beckie's traveling companions were seated around the table, or wherever there was room, watching Raditz stuff his face.  
  
"Good heavens! Goku, he eats nearly as much as you!" exclaimed Chi- chi as she spooned out the sixth bowl of rice and handed it to Raditz.  
  
Raditz took his chopsticks out of his mouth. "What do you expect, woman? I'm his brother."  
  
Chi-chi marched over to him and whacked him on the head with her ladle. "How dare you call me woman? And don't talk with your mouth full, and your face is covered with rice."  
  
Raditz threw a contemptuous glance at her retreating back before grabbing a napkin and sulkily wiping his face. He crumpled it up and threw it back onto the table. "Goddammit, Kakkarot! Is there no discipline in your house?"  
  
"'Course there is!" More hesitantly, he added "it's just that she doles it out."  
  
"Kakkarot, you're pathetic! Is there any more rice?"  
  
Chi-chi merely handed him the ladle. "Get it yourself."  
  
"What the f@#$?"  
  
Chi-chi wrenched the ladle out of his hand and whacked him with it. "Watch your mouth!" She picked up a bar of soap and grabbed his hair, forcing the soap into his mouth at the same time.  
  
"Dammit, woman!" Raditz choked out, while trying to keep the cursed bar of soap out of his mouth. "Get away from me!"  
  
"I'm not going anywhere until I've taught you some discipline!"  
  
"Aak! Get that soap away from me! What is it, anyway?"  
  
"Life Bouy."  
  
"ARGH! I like Ivory! That was what my mother used to wash my mouth out with."  
  
Owlie(-chan) interrupted, leaning forward, and nearly fell off the counter on which she was perched. "They have Procter and Gamble on Planet Vegeta?" Far too late, Crystal Arrow whacked Owlie on the head with the nearest heavy object.  
  
"Girl, how do you know about Planet -Hey! No! Stop! AARGH!" His question ended mid-sentence after Chi-chi stuffed a large bar of soap into his mouth. Owlie, having barely recovered from the massive head trauma she had suffered at the hands of Crystal Arrow, caught enough of the question to answer.  
  
"The Internet?" She received no reply,  
  
"Owlie." Crystal Arrow muttered dangerously.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What have I told Tashachu a thousand times already?"  
  
"To Ix-nay on-ay e-thay 'eBZ-day?"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"Oh. Sorry."  
  
"Owlie, you're pathetic."  
  
"I know."  
  
Crystal Arrow rolled her eyes, and watched, with some satisfaction, Chi-chi beating Raditz to death with a bar of soap.  
  
On the other side of the room, Goku was also surveying this curious scene, but in a slightly more worried way. "Um, Chi-chi," he ventured. "What are you doing to him?"  
  
"Be quiet, Goku," his wife snapped. "I'm teaching him some discipline."  
  
"Oh. But do you have to use soap?"  
  
"Shut up, Goku!" Goku shut up immediately.  
  
Owlie was now stretched on the floor, having recently relapsed into the supposed damage of that massive head trauma, being looked at with a mixture of amazement and pity by Alice and Solarcite. Crystal Arrow merely looked at her unconscious form and shook her head, then turned around to watch Chi-chi turn Raditz into a quivering lump of jelly.  
  
The saiyan in question was running around the kitchen like a thing demented in an attempt to get as far away from Chi-chi as possible. On his second lap around the kitchen, he spat out the bar of soap, which hit Tashachu on the head.  
  
"Ouch! What the-Eew!" She shot an angry look at Raditz, and then threw the soap at him. It hit him in the face.  
  
"Girl!" yelled Raditz, rounding on Tashachu. "What is with you and throwing things at me?" It was when Raditz turned around that Chi-chi launched her second tirade.  
  
"Raditz, do you have ANY sense of decency? You wander around in these Spandex short shorts?"  
  
"Woman, I don't know what's wrong with you, but stop bothering me!"  
  
"Look, Mister, that's just disgusting! And if you dare take that armor off, I'll-"  
  
Goku broke in. "Chi-chi, um, should you really be talking about people's clothing? I mean, remember that outfit you were wearing when we first met?" Chi-chi turned red, though whether it was from embarrassment or rage, it was hard to tell.  
  
"What outfit, Dad?" Gohan asked.  
  
"Never mind, Gohan, just go upstairs." Gohan obeyed.  
  
"Goku!" Chi-chi warned.  
  
"After all, it was basically only an armored bra and panties.Geez, you scarred me for life." Goku shuddered.  
  
"Goku! I told you never to talk about that outfit!" "Really? I don't remember that."  
  
Chi-chi returned her attention to her brother-in-law. "You actually wander around like that? That is the most disgusting outfit I've ever seen!  
  
ZestyGnome spoke up. "Raditz doesn't worry, Raditz doesn't care. Raditz's got a hairy body and no underwear."  
  
Beckie looked at her in amazment. "You looked?"  
  
Owlie raised her head from the floor. "ZestyGnome, would you PLEASE stop quoting yourself?"  
  
"Um." ZestyGnome had no reply.  
  
Raditz finally remembered that "those silly little girls" were still in the same room as he was. "Look, you little bitches, I'm getting sick of you and your nasty comments about me! I'm going to kill you right now and end this once and for all!"  
  
"Your language!" yelled Chi-chi.  
  
"Shut up, you old cow!" Raditz gathered a ball of energy between his palms and turned to Tashachu in order to blast her to pieces. And he would have succeeded, too, if Goku hadn't tackled him to the ground.  
  
"Kakkarot, you son of a bitch-wait a minute-That came out wrong!" Goku hit him in the face a few times.  
  
"Raditz," Goku growled warningly. "If you try that again, you will be sorry."  
  
"Damn you, Kakkarot!"  
  
Chi-chi reappeared with a bottle of dish soap. "Open wide, you layabout!" She poured almost a quarter of the bottle into Raditz's mouth, but most of it went up his nose or down the neck of his armor. In an amazing feat of strength, he somehow managed to throw Goku off him, and ran outside, gagging and blowing bubbles out of his nose. _____________________________  
  
Next time on Dragonball JDI: What happens when Raditz really wants a fight, but Goku won't let him? And Tashachu's really in the mood to punch something? A duel of insults! 


	4. The Duel of Insults

Just Droppin' In  
Ch. 4  
The Duel of Insults  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ. If I did, I would be rich. I don't own my friends. If I did, I'd be worried. I got the "duel of insults" idea from Lord Brocktree by Brian Jacques. It's not exactly the same, but it's similar.  
  
Wow. A 10-page chapter.  
  
Warning: This one is more messed up than the last one was.  
  
Last time on Dragonball JDI: Chi-chi started beating Raditz to death with a bar of soap after his language took a turn for the worse. Owlie was knocked even more senseless than usual by Crystal Arrow for mentioning anything to do with DBZ, and Chi-chi then poured dish soap down Raditz's throat for more language, after having screamed at him for his Spandex shorts. _______________  
  
They found Radtiz outside on his hands and knees, gagging and choking and blowing bubbles. "Hey!" Goku yelled. "Come out here! This is funny!"  
  
Not wanting to miss this, every member of the little gang of teenagers, with the exception of Alice, who looked rather afraid of the whole situation, rushed outside, with Beckie and Tashachu carrying Owlie between them. They promptly dropped her on the grass when they got outside, however.  
  
"Ow!"  
  
"Oh," Tashachu looked down as if she had just dropped a pencil. "Sorry." She left Owlie lying where she was, in order to watch and laugh at Raditz, who lay convulsing on the ground and had an extraordinary number of bubbles pouring out of his nose. Slowly, however, he recovered, and the flow of bubbles ceased.  
  
"Kakkarot, I'm going to make you pay. Pay for your insolent woman and these stupid brats!"  
  
"And how is this my fault?" Goku asked.  
  
"I-I-I don't know! It just is!" Raditz answered after a moment of thought. "And the first one I'm going to deal with is her!" he cried, pointing at Tashachu.  
  
Tashachu looked somewhat shocked. "Who, me?"  
  
"Yes, you, you stupid little girl!"  
  
It should have been obvious to anyone what was coming up next. Tashachu bent down, ripped up a clump of grass, and threw it at him. It hit him in the face. With a cry of rage, Raditz charged at her, pawing dirt out of his eyes as he did. Goku knocked him flat, ramming his shoulder into his brother's chest. "Kakkarot," he growled, pushing himself up onto his hands and knees and shaking himself off. "I am definitely going to kill her first, then you."  
  
Meanwhile, Tashachu's friends were hastily looking around for a pair of straightjackets, one for Tashachu, the other for Chi-chi.  
  
"Young lady," Chi-chi shrieked. "Did your mother ever tell you not to rip out other people's lawns?"  
  
Tashachu, of course, was ignoring her, and asking the world in general, in a rather hyper way, "C'mon, can I hit him? Can I beat him up? Can I? Please?" Crystal Arrow grabbed the back of her shirt and dragged her away.  
  
"Tashachu, you may be a taekwondo black belt, but you won't be a black belt for long if you try and hit him," she sighed, shaking her head in despair.  
  
"But I want to beat him up!"  
  
"Bad Tashachu! You're grounded!"  
  
"But-"  
  
"Tashachu, sit!"  
  
Tashachu whined, in puppy-like way, to which Crystal Arrow responded by letting out an exasperated sigh. "Tashachu, you're psycho." Tashachu, however, did not obey the "sit" command. Instead, she ripped out more of the lawn, to Chi-chi's great distress, and threw it at Raditz. For Raditz had just called them all stupid.  
  
Beckie had heard some odd noises coming from behind her. She turned around and found Piccolo meditating on the roof. "Um, excuse me, ma'am?"  
  
Chi-chi turned around, temporarily distracted from the problem of a rapidly disappearing front lawn. "Yes?"  
  
"There's a green guy on your roof. Is he supposed to be there?"  
  
Chi-chi looked up, and saw Piccolo sitting on the roof, deep in a meditative trance. And she lost it. "WHAT?!" Then, she yelled at him. "YOU GREAT GREEN MONSTER! Get off my roof!"  
  
This broke Piccolo's meditative trance, and he nearly fell off the roof. After listening to about thirty seconds of Chi-chi's ranting while not actually listening to it, he yelled down to Goku. "Goku, I concede. You are the stronger of us!"  
  
Goku turned and looked up at Piccolo with amazement. "Piccolo, um, this is weird. That's not at all like you. Why did you just suddenly give up on it like that?"  
  
"Because you have to put up with this every day!" Unfortunately, Chi-chi heard it.  
  
"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to insult people when you're a guest in their house."  
  
"Hmph!" Then, more quietly, he added, "I never had a mother."  
  
A sudden change in Chi-chi's demeanor occurred. "Oh! You poor thing! No wonder you turned out to be an unruly psychopath!" She turned around. "Goku! Goku!"  
  
Goku was occupied with the task of trying to restrain Raditz. "Uh, Chi- chi, I'm a little busy right now. Can this wait?"  
  
"Goku, next time you're in the nearest city, see if you can pick up some adoption forms!"  
  
It took a minute to sink it. "WHAT!? Chi-chi, where did this randomly come from?"  
  
"We're going to adopt your green friend. He needs a family, the poor thing."  
  
Goku and Piccolo exchanged astounded looks, and a sweatdrop rolled down Goku's cheek. "Chi-chi, can we talk this over? I mean, we've got Gohan to look after.Don't you think Piccolo would be a bad influence?" he asked as he tried to grab Raditz's squirming tail. "And shouldn't you ask Piccolo? I'm not sure if he likes the idea."  
  
"Damn right I don't," Piccolo muttered into the folds of his cape.  
  
Chi-chi considered this. "You're probably right." Then, she rounded on Piccolo. "And get off my roof, you!"  
  
Piccolo heaved an exasperated sigh, and slid off the roof. "Why am I listening to a psychopathic madwoman who I could probably kill with one punch?" he asked the air.  
  
"I heard that!" Chi-chi screamed. Piccolo rolled his eyes, then turned to Goku.  
  
"What are we going to do with him?" he asked, jerking his head towards Raditz.  
  
"Search me," Goku answered. "What should we do with him?"  
  
"I'd beat the crap out of him, but since that would allow him to kill those stupid children, not that I'd mind-"  
  
"Geez, Piccolo, you're mean!" Piccolo gave Goku a very nasty look, then continued.  
  
"But since him killing those children would annoy you, and, arguably, their parents, but I'm not entirely sure some of them would be missed," he said, looking pointedly at Tashachu, who was ripping up more of the lawn, and at Owlie, who was now sitting up and looking around, dazed. "We need to come up with another plan."  
  
"We could bribe him," Goku suggested.  
  
"Bribe him?!" Piccolo exclaimed. "With what?!"  
  
"Food, soap.I don't know."  
  
Piccolo rolled his eyes. "Goku, you're as good as useless." He felt someone tug on his cape from behind. When he turned around, he was met with Tashachu looking up at him. "Oh, what in the name of Kami have I done to deserve this?" he asked, rolling his eyes skyward. Then he looked down at Tashachu. "What do you want?"  
  
"Can I beat him up?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Him," she said, pointing at Raditz. Piccolo looked at her like she was insane.  
  
"Girl, you're crazy! Goku has trouble beating him up! He'd be more than a match for you!"  
  
"Aww." Tashachu walked away.  
  
Piccolo rolled his eyes. "These people are incredibly helpful. They haven't come up with a useful idea in the twenty minutes we've been out here." Then, he heard a shout from Owlie.  
  
"I'VE GOT AN IDEA!" She came rushing over to tell Piccolo about her revelation, but tripped over a clump of grass that Tashachu had thrown at Raditz. Cursing, she picked herself up again and ran the rest of the distance. "Piccolo! I've got an idea!" All the rest of her friends crowded around her, to see if anything she had to say was useful.  
  
"Okay," Piccolo said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Let's hear it."  
  
"Okay, we settle this with a duel."  
  
"A duel?" Piccolo repeated incredulously.  
  
"Yeah, a duel."  
  
"You mean," Alice asked. "A duel, complete with swords?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, I guess."  
  
"Owlie, you've been watching way more Kenshin than is good for you." Crystal Arrow shook her head in despair.  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Owlie, you don't see one of the major flaws in your plan, do you? We don't have swords."  
  
"Ah. That would be a problem."  
  
ZestyGnome then spoke up. "I've got it! And thank you for the idea, Owlie. What we do is have a duel of insults. We attack each other by insulting each other."  
  
"Whoever wins has their way, right?" Solarcite asked.  
  
"Right."  
  
"So," Solarcite continued. "We need to find people who are good at this. Any volunteers?"  
  
Beckie looked around. "Crystal Arrow, you do it. You're good at insulting people, right?"  
  
Crystal Arrow shifted her weight from leg to leg nervously. "Uh, yeah, I guess you could say so."  
  
"She'd probably curse him out." Tashachu said.  
  
Crystal Arrow looked slightly chagrined. "Yeah, I probably would.that would be great. Um.Owlie! You're the backup! You're all sarcastic and everything."  
  
Goku broke in. "Hey! I wanna be in on this too!" Crystal Arrow rolled her eyes.  
  
"Fine, Goku, you can go ahead and cuss him out." To her friends, she mumbled, "Looks like we'll get a turn anyway."  
  
The Duel "Here is the ring," Piccolo began, drawing a circle in the dirt with his finger. Everyone, with the exception of Chi-chi and Gohan, stood in a desolate location, devoid of signs of intelligent life. "You may not step outside the ring. If you do, you forfeit the match. Each team has three members. However, Raditz will be given the opportunity to 'duel' three times, as he is the only person on his team. Best of three wins. There will be no contact whatsoever. The object is simple: To out-insult your opponent. You may begin." With that, Piccolo stepped away from the ring.  
  
"Wait," Goku called. "Who's going first?" In response, Beckie shoved him into the ring. "I don't want to be here! Why me? I'm leaving!"  
  
"Goku!" Beckie yelled. "You idiot! If you leave the ring, that freak wins!"  
  
With that uncomfortable thought weighing on his mind, Goku sized up his opponent, and prepared to insult him. The trouble was, Goku had never been very good at insults. He said the first thing that came to his mind: "Your mama."  
  
Raditz's jaw dropped. He soon, however, recovered his composure. "Kakkarot, you moron! My mother's your mother!"  
  
"I'm not related to you!"  
  
"Yes, you are! Ask mom!"  
  
"What are you talking about, you weirdo?"  
  
"Weirdo?! You're the weirdo, you amnesic disgrace!"  
  
"Disgrace to what?"  
  
"The Saiyan race, retard!"  
  
"I'm not a retard! You're the retard! You come to my planet and try to get me to join you by threatening my friends and kidnapping my son! That's retarded!"  
  
"What did you expect me to do, call ahead and show up with a box of chocolates?!"  
  
"Actually, that would have been nice."  
  
The teenagers, whose fate hung in the outcome of this fight, stared at the two arguing Saiyans disbelievingly. "Goku was never very good at this," Owlie remarked, surveying the pathetic scene. Crystal Arrow nodded.  
  
"Too true, too true."  
  
"So, what do we do about him?"  
  
"Owlie, you started it, you deal with him."  
  
So Owlie walked into the ring. Taking Goku firmly by the shoulders, she called "Goku here forfeits!" as she marched him out of the ring.  
  
Raditz couldn't believe his ears. He started jumping up and down, shouting "Yes! Raditz, one, Earthlings and Kakkarot, zero! Oh yeah! Booyah!"  
  
"Don't get too excited yet. Remember me?" Owlie, leaving Goku securely tied to a tree lest he start causing trouble, stepped into the ring, and cracked her knuckles. Raditz's jaw dropped.  
  
"Why-what-Shouldn't you be unconscious?"  
  
Owlie thought for a moment. "Actually, I usually am unconscious."  
  
"Look, girl, I don't have all day! So let's just get it on!" Anger crossed Owlie's face and settled.  
  
"You sick, disgusting, perverted, greasy-haired bastard! Why, I could kill you right now!"  
  
"You know exactly what I meant!"  
  
"Syntax is everything, O-genius! Saying 'Let's get it on' is very different than saying 'Let's get on with it'! Get out of my sight, pervert!"  
  
"You can't order me around, mere child."  
  
"I may be a child, but I can at least string a coherent sentence together."  
  
"Insolent child! That was a coherent sentence!"  
  
"Not in context."  
  
On the sidelines, Tashachu watched, staring grimly as they battled each other. "Poor Owlie. She's probably scarred for life."  
  
"Probably," Crystal Arrow concurred, as she watched the fight unfolding in the ring:  
  
"And one more thing, girl! I do not have greasy hair!"  
  
"You do! If I came near you with a match, you'd catch fire. When was the last time you washed it?"  
  
Raditz thought. And thought. Then he sat down, and thought some more. Finally he said, "I can't remember." Owlie, however, was paying him no attention. Instead, she was sitting on the ground, napping. Raditz, furious at being ignored, stalked over to her and bellowed "I SAID I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WASHED MY HAIR!" in her ear. She awoke with a start.  
  
"Christ, I'm not deaf. Maybe now I am, but-And, by the way, when was the last time you took a shower? You stink."  
  
And so Raditz though for a moment. "I can't remember!"  
  
"Oh dear. Does the poor Saiyan bastard have short-term memory loss? Or haven't you taken a bath in a while?"  
  
"Girl, are you patronizing me?"  
  
"Quite frankly, no. I am merely talking in what I judge to be your intelligence level. Or does it go over your head? I'm sorry! Here, let me try again-I no patronize-"  
  
"How stupid do you think I am!?"  
  
"Do you really want me to answer?" Raditz opened his mouth to speak, but Owlie beat him to it. "For your information, I've seen more intelligent things lying on their backs on the bottom of ponds. I've seen more witty things running around farmyards with their heads cut off. I've seen more creative things growing on bread!"  
  
"So what if I'm not brilliant?!"  
  
"'Not brilliant'? You belong in a zoo!"  
  
"I can just break my way out again!"  
  
"Contrary to your misguided beliefs, they are fairly good at rounding up escaped monkeys. They tend to carry diseases."  
  
"Are you insulting me?"  
  
"Aand, you only just realized this? You're slower than I thought."  
  
"How dare you insult a great Saiyan warrior? I will crush you like an egg!"  
  
"Tut, tut, no contact allowed." Owlie shook her finger at him.  
  
"After the duel, smart one."  
  
"That makes it sound like you think you're going to win this."  
  
"I say that because I WILL win!"  
  
"Not at the rate you're going."  
  
"I, Raditz, will end your days on Earth!"  
  
"Good God! He knows his name! It's a miracle!" That was the last thing she said before Raditz dealt her a nasty blow to the back of the head.  
  
"Foul!" came the cry from the audience, with the notable exceptions of Piccolo, who wasn't interested, and Goku, who was trying to work his way out of the binding that Owlie had put him in. After much protest from Owlie's friends, Piccolo was finally forced to make a judgment:  
  
"This section goes to-whatever her name was. This greased monkey- thing here struck her, which is clearly against the rules. Besides, I think she had him beat before then."  
  
Tashachu and Beckie had to drag Owlie's limp form out of the ring. Solarcite poked Crystal Arrow in the arm. "I guess it's your turn."  
  
__________ Next Time on Dragonball JDI: Both sides are tied, Owlie's down, and Crystal Arrow takes her place. Does Raditz get cursed out as promised? Find out next time! 


End file.
